Blinded by Jealousy
by soraxtsuna123
Summary: Ponyboy was everything Soda wanted to be—smart and not useless to society. Burning with jealousy, Soda starts to abuse Ponyboy only to realize his mistake when a social worker comes around and removes his brother from the house. One-Shot. Request by DLX619.


**Request by DLX619.**

**Summary: Ponyboy was everything Soda wanted to be—smart and not useless to society. Burning with jealousy, Soda starts to abuse Ponyboy only to realize his mistake when a social worker comes around and removes his brother from the house.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**The Outsiders**_**.**

**o-o-o**

Despite what everyone thought, Sodapop Curtis despised his brother, Ponyboy. In fact, there was nobody in the world that he disliked more than him. He couldn't stand looking at his brother or even listen to his voice. Not only that, but he was always _there_, physically or not. Ponyboy was always clinging to him, and, when he's not, people were always talking about him; congratulating Soda on having such an intelligent sibling.

It was always about Ponyboy.

Ponyboy. Ponyboy. Ponyboy.

He always was praised for how talented and smart he was. All attention was on him and everyone always saw hope in him. Sodapop, on the other hand, was already deemed worthless to society. People treated him like he was an idiot and it just wasn't fair! It wasn't like he was dumb or anything. The problem was that he wasn't the best student when came to school. Don't get him wrong. He tried so hard—his absolute hardest—but he just never got it. He hated how inferior Ponyboy made him feel, because, deep down, he knew that it was true. He was untalented, unlike Ponyboy, who was not only smart, but good looking, creative, and athletic as well. Just thinking about him made his skin crawl and his stomach turn in disgust.

Every day, he felt angrier and angrier at his younger brother till the point where he just couldn't take it anymore, and he just… snapped.

"Hey, Soda," Ponyboy chirped one afternoon when Soda came back home from work.

"Hey," Soda replied flatly. His happy-go-lucky smile that was almost always on his face was nonexistent as he pushed himself past his little brother to go to his room. Ponyboy could only stare after him with a confused expression as the door slammed shut. His head tilted to the side in question, but he mostly passed the off behavior off. Soda probably had a bad day at work. It was unusual since he always made anything negative positive, and it was strange to see him not happy, but it happens. It probably was really bad if he was acting this way. Ponyboy had never seen him like this before. It was almost scary.

Ponyboy followed after him, pushing himself into the shared bedroom, which Soda didn't like one bit. Why couldn't he just leave him alone? For once, he would like to forget that his younger brother even existed. He glowered, although his brother didn't see it.

"Are you okay?" Ponyboy asked, lips lightly curved downward in worry.

"I'm fine," Soda growled, hoping that his brother would take his short answer as a hint to leave him alone. Of course, that was farfetched.

"Did something happen? You can talk to me you know…"

Soda clenched his fists, feeling a migraine start. Ponyboy's voice sounded like nails against a chalkboard. He just wanted him to shut up and leave him alone. For once, why couldn't he leave him alone? "I don't have to tell you anything."

With his back facing Ponyboy, he didn't see the hurt expression that veiled over his face. Was Soda angry at him? He sure acted like it. But, what could Soda be angry about? Especially about him. He tried not to take things personally. Soda wasn't in the right headspace. He knew that he wasn't actually angry at him. It was just a bad day.

"Soda, what's wrong? Talk to me." Ponyboy stepped forward, but Soda whirled around, causing him to stumble backward out of instinct. "Soda?"

"I want to be alone right now." Soda sounded like he was holding all of his worries and emotions all in a small bottle that was about to explode. He clenched his jaw tightly, making his jawline even more prominent.

Ponyboy sighed, looking at his feet. He just wanted to be there for his brother, just like all of the times that he did the same for him. Soda was always comforting him whenever he was down… but if that was what Soda wanted… If that was what it was going to take to make him happy again, then he would go. He only wanted to see him smile again and if he was the problem, then…

"Okay," Ponyboy calmly agreed, looking back up at Soda with soothing eyes. "If you really want to be alone right now, I'll leave you alone so you can sort things out. But, I'm here for you if you need anything. If you want someone to talk to, I'll always be there to lend an ear. I'll just be right outside the door, okay?"

Soda grumbled and, with that, Ponyboy backed out of the room, shutting the door as he stepped out. Instantly, he pressed his back against the wall next to the door and slid down it, waiting for his older sibling to call him back in. They've always told each other everything so it was only a matter of time until he expressed his troubles.

But he never did.

Ponyboy really did wish that Soda would talk to him about what he was feeling. He wanted to be there for him and know what's been going through his head. However, it didn't take long until Soda actually did share what was bothering him. And, honestly, he wished that he didn't push to know the full story.

**o-o-o**

It was the end of the semester at school, which meant report cards. Ponyboy licked his chapped lips, flipping the envelope in his hands tentatively. He didn't feel too good about one of the classes that he took. If it was a bad grade, then he definitely was going to hear about it from Darry. Pony almost wanted to hide the report card or at least forge a fake one to avoid whatever scolding insults that were going to be spewed out of his eldest brother's mouth. Of course, Darry was probably going to find out anyway, knowing him, and he was going to get into a heap of trouble for even trying to hide it. The best option was to face his problem head-on.

With that, Ponyboy entered his home. The house was relatively quiet that afternoon, which was an enigma altogether. Usually, someone (typically Two-Bit) would hang out at their house and would blast the television. But, at that time, it was just him and his two brothers. Soda was sitting on the couch, flipping through playing cards while Darry was whipping up another chocolate cake for them. The eldest turned around and peaked his head out of the kitchen when he heard the door shut. Instantly, his eyes zeroed in on the envelope.

"What's that?" he asked, jabbing a wooden spoon towards the envelope.

"Report card," Ponyboy replied, throat tight. Soda almost groaned at that. He was going to have to hear it all again—Ponyboy being praised for his intelligence. He should have just left, and he was going to, but something in him tethered him to his spot. Some part of him, although he would never admit it, wanted to hear the grades so that he could become angrier and even more hurt. It was sick, he knew that, but he just couldn't help but be addicted to the feeling as if he were taking shots of dopamine.

"You got all A's, I hope?"

Ponyboy swallowed, sweat trickling down his temple. "I hope so too." His voice sounded weak. He wasn't confident at all. Silently, he prayed for good grades. He just couldn't handle Darry's wrath.

Raising a curious eyebrow, Darry snatched the envelope from Ponyboy's hands, tearing it open without skipping a beat. He pulled out the dreaded sheet, unfolding it in an agonizingly, slow manner. The sound of the paper being moved echoed throughout the house somehow. Ponyboy watched as Darry's eyes slowly scanned down the document. He nodded continuously, almost like a bobblehead. When he finished, he looked back up sternly, causing Pony to gulp. He feared the worst.

"Good job. A 4.0 GPA. All A's," Darry congratulated, flashing a proud smile. Ponyboy let out his breath that he didn't know that he was holding in right as the screen door flung open.

Two-Bit bounded in, grinning from ear to ear. "What's this about getting A's?" he boomed. Soda rolled his eyes as Two-Bit rubbed at Ponyboy's scalp, giving him a noogie. "Nice going, Pony!"

Ponyboy swatted Two-Bit's hand away but giggled, nonetheless. "Thanks," he said, pride swelling up in his chest. "It's nothing though."

"Nothing? Ponyboy, it's amazing! You're going to make it out of here. None of us are going to, but you actually will. We're not as smart as you, despite maybe Superman over there."

Soda clenched his teeth. Those fucking compliments. They were supposed to be encouraging, but it was at the expense of everyone else's self-esteem. It hurt Soda. Did they really not have any hope for him because he wasn't as smart as Ponyboy? Of course they didn't. The only place that he was able to get a job at was at a gas station, after all. A job at the gas station was anything but glamorous. And, besides, his only real job duty there was to attract customers by being pretty. Soda wanted something more. He wanted to be useful, but, apparently, having intellectual achievements was a requirement to do that.

Not being able to take anymore, Soda shot up to his feet and stormed out of the house. However, not before he heard the beginning of, "Hey, Soda, what do you think about—"

The door slammed shut behind him, leaving the three greasers frowning at it. Besides the small incident that Ponyboy witnessed not too long ago, they have never seen Soda that upset before. It was random too. It came seemingly out of nowhere. He was perfectly fine a few minutes ago.

"What crawled up his butt?" Two-Bit asked, raising an eyebrow. None of them could answer him though. They were just as lost as he was.

Ponyboy and Darry shared a look before the eldest pointed outside. "Go," he said, knowing that Pony was moments away from bolting outside himself. "Find out what's wrong."

Nodding, Ponyboy scurried out of the door after Sodapop. Luckily, he didn't get too far from the house. "Soda!" Pony called out, quickly catching up to him.

"What do you want?" Soda snapped, crossing his arms and spinning around on his heels. He glowered at him and Ponyboy winced. It wasn't an expression that he was used to, especially at him. Sure, Soda glared at him that one time, but he was still unused to it.

"What's wrong? Why'd you storm out like that?" Ponyboy grabbed Soda's forearm in a concerned manner, but the latter ripped it away. If possible, his glare sharpened.

"Nothing's wrong! Now, leave me alone!"

"Something's obviously wrong. You can tell me. Soda, please, tell me."

Soda growled. Ponyboy wasn't going to let it go. He was going to keep sticking his nose into his business. Well then, if he wanted to know so much, then he'll tell him. Maybe then, Ponyboy would use his smart-assed brain and finally back off. "Fine," he huffed. "You want to know what's wrong? _You're_ what's wrong!"

Ponyboy looked taken aback. His eyes widened in shock as he pointed at himself. "Me?"

"Yes, _you_!" Soda jabbed a finger into Ponyboy's chest, causing him to take a step backward from how much force was put into the movement.

"What did I do?"

"It's not just what you do. It's you in general."

Again, Ponyboy was taken aback. How was _he_ the problem? It didn't make any sense. They've never had any problems before. "What are you—"

Soda cut him off before he could finish his sentence. "You're so annoying, you know that, right? It always has to be about you. You always have to have all of the attention to yourself. Do you think anybody likes that? I don't and neither does anyone from the gang. Nobody even likes you. We just feel obligated to."

Those words hit deep, and it felt like a knife was being stabbed into Ponyboy's chest. Tears welled up in his eyes, threatening to fall down. "You don't mean that," he whimpered. He knew that Soda didn't mean any of it, but it still hurt. Something was definitely wrong with Soda. This version wasn't him. This wasn't his Soda. His version was far nicer and would always remind him about how special he was to everybody.

"I do mean it. Nobody likes you. There are so many people in the world and none of them wants to be friends with you." With that, Soda spun around again and stormed off. Ponyboy didn't chase after him this time.

Soda was just upset, he tried to remind himself. He would talk to him eventually… hopefully. Ponyboy refused to believe that Soda meant any of that… it just didn't settle with him. He knew him. He was going to be better eventually. That's what he told himself at least.

But it never got better. It only got worse.

Days turned to weeks of Soda giving Ponyboy the cold shoulder. He glared at him whenever the gang wasn't looking, never invited him out anymore, insulted him, and he even forced him to move out of his room. But, Ponyboy still had hope, even when the harsh words transitioned into beatings, something he thought he would never see Soda do… especially to him.

**o-o-o**

A short, strangled scream exited Ponyboy's lips as his body flung forward into a sitting position. His limbs flailed around sporadically, breath coming out in quick, short bursts. Cold sweat ran down his temples as he trembled like a leaf. His eyes skittered around the familiar yet unfamiliar room. For a moment, he didn't recognize where he was. It wasn't the bedroom that he was used to sleeping in.

This bedroom was cold. Even though he'd been sleeping in it for days now, it still felt like it was a hidden dungeon that hadn't been touched for centuries. Soda had kicked him out of their room—no surprise there—forcing him to sleep in his old bedroom. Pony dreaded sleeping in there because it just seemed to amplify his nightmares. Nobody was there to help him get over them either.

Once Ponyboy calmed down enough, he wrapped his arms around himself in an attempt to comfort himself. He wished that it was somebody else soothing him because he didn't want to be alone. He just wanted somebody to rock him back and forth in their arms, whispering reassurances until he fell back asleep. He needed somebody there to do that for him.

Slowly, Ponyboy kicked the blankets off of him before placing his feet on the carpet. His knees creaked as he put his full weight onto them and walked. Eventually, he made it out of the door.

Darry's snores echoed throughout the house. Ponyboy looked down the hallway. Should he go to Darry? It sounded like he was really tired though. Maybe he shouldn't bother him.

That left Soda. He hesitated. Did Soda want to see him? He was always there for him whenever he had a nightmare. But he was never at his side anymore whenever he did have one. Maybe he should just return back to his room and start comforting himself again.

But he just couldn't be alone. Not then. He needed someone.

That meant he needed to go to Darry.

He turned to Darry's door again, but then Soda's venomous words rang through his head, '_You always have to have the attention to yourself. Do you think anybody likes that?'_

His chest clenched. He couldn't go to him. Ponyboy clutched at his shirt tightly, lip trembling. Darry would be so annoyed with him. He just didn't want to be a nuisance to him.

That meant Soda… but his brother didn't want to see him. What was he going to do? Maybe Soda will finally wake up and help him, he hoped. He looked longingly at Soda's door.

Ponyboy made a decision then and there. He was going to ask Soda for help. Maybe seeing his distressed state would finally snap him out of it.

Naively, he opened Soda's door and pushed himself in. His brother was sleeping soundly in bed as if nothing ever was bothering him. In slumber, he looked like he usually did—kind and caring. Tentatively, he shook his shoulder, earning a low groan from the older male. Soda turned over, eyes fluttering open, gleaming against the little light that came from the streetlight outside. For a moment, Ponyboy thought that Soda was back to normal to take care of him, but then Soda's eyes focused on him and instantly turned cold. They were icier than Darry's.

"What the fuck do you want?" Soda hissed, cursing. Ponyboy had never heard him curse before. He flinched violently, now regretting his decision.

"I uh… I…" Ponyboy stammered.

"Spit it out. Why did you wake me up?"

Ponyboy looked down. "I had a nightmare."

Soda raised an eyebrow, scowling. "And this is a reason to wake me up, because…"

"I didn't want to be alone."

"Stop being a baby. Grow up for once. People your age don't need to be comforted from a nightmare."

His eyes started to water. "Soda, you know that—"

"Go away. If you're so smart, deal with it yourself."

Ponyboy grabbed onto Soda's shirt, hands shaking something fierce. Tears were running down his eyes as he looked down at his feet in an attempt to hide them. "Please, Soda, I don't want to be alone right now," he sobbed. "Don't you care about me?"

Soda's answer was blunt. "No. I hate you."

Ponyboy's eyes snapped up. He breathed in a sharp intake of breath. Soda hated him? That couldn't be true, right? It felt like someone was crushing his heart; like a hand was squeezing it. Everything hurt. It hurt to have the person you loved the most tell you that they hated you. Especially if this person acted like they loved you before.

"Soda—"

"In fact, I wish that you were never born."

Ponyboy let go of Soda's shirt, taking a few steps backward. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was still in the nightmare. He had to be! Soda would never say that to him. "Soda—"

"Shut your trap!" Soda hissed, keeping his voice lower to not wake Darry up. He stood up from the bed, towering over Ponyboy even though their height difference wasn't too bad.

"But—"

A loud smack resonated throughout the room. Ponyboy's head was flung back, cheek stinging and turning red. His eyes were wide, tears unable to fall due to his shock. He caressed his own cheek unbelievingly, before looking at Soda.

His brother had just slapped him.

Nobody had ever hit him before in his family.

And yet… Soda just did.

Pony, who was still in shock, observed Soda's face, hoping that he would have at least been a little bit regretful of what he just did, but there was only rage in his eyes. There was no sign of remorse.

For the first time ever, Ponyboy saw Soda differently. This Soda was no longer the one that he knew. That version of him was long gone. Instead, what stood before him was a monster cloaked in the skin of his dear brother.

But did he ever love him? Was how he acted growing up with him been fake all this time? Was his whole childhood just one huge lie?

He had to get out of there. He could tell that Soda wasn't done with him yet.

Ponyboy spun around on his heel, but Soda roughly grabbed his wrist, flinging him back inside the room. He loomed over his brother ominously as the boy's body crashed against the floor. Ponyboy whimpered in pain as he landed on his wrist awkwardly, feeling electricity run through his body. He fearfully looked up, feeling sick at the smirk that curled his brother's lips.

Soda felt elated. Seeing Pony weaker than him made him feel so much better. It was almost like a drug.

"Soda, please—" Ponyboy tried to plead. Again, he couldn't finish his sentence. Soda stomped on his chest, causing his ribs to groan from the impact. He lifted his foot again and was going to kick, but that's when he noticed that Darry's snoring had stopped.

His eyes narrowed as he dragged Ponyboy up to his feet to sit back down on the bed right when the door opened. Darry poked his head in, looking absolutely tired. He rubbed at his eyes, scanning the dim room.

"Everything alright in there?" he yawned.

"Yeah," Soda replied. "Ponyboy just had a nightmare. I calmed him down though. You can go back to bed."

Darry turned his attention to Ponyboy, who's eyes were wide in fear. That was normal when waking up from a nightmare though, so he dismissed it. "Pony, you alright?

Ponyboy wanted to do nothing more but scream for help and run to Darry for protection, but Soda pinched his side, telling him to lie. A warning. He didn't know what would happen if he didn't follow him. "I'm fine now," Ponyboy lied. He tried to make faces to make it obvious that he needed help, but Darry didn't notice him doing them. "I'm sorry for waking you up."

"It's fine. You shouldn't feel sorry for something that you can't control. Now, go back to sleep. Soda, help him out, will you?"

"Aye aye, captain!" Soda said, saluting.

With that, Darry was gone, and Soda pushed Ponyboy away. He glared at him, pointing at the door. "Leave or I won't be so merciful next time."

Ponyboy rubbed at his aching wrist, sniffling, but stood his ground. Growling, Soda grabbed his hurt wrist and dragged him out of the room, causing him to let out a cry. Immediately, a hand covered his mouth to muffle him.

"Shut your trap, you hear? I don't want to hear none of it and nobody else does either."

When the crying stopped, he removed his hand and pushed Ponyboy outside. He shot him another dirty glare before he shut the door. For many minutes, Pony just stared at the door, eyes red and puffy from his tears.

Man, he was weak. He wiped the tears away. He was an annoying baby. He couldn't help but believe everything Soda said to him was true, but he knew he shouldn't. This Soda was a monster and monsters told lies. At least, that's what he wanted to believe.

He didn't know what to think anymore, but, one thing was for sure: he wanted to make things better with Soda.

**o-o-o**

It didn't get better after that. Soda kept hitting him and kept spitting out insults. It was hard for those words to not get to him. He kept making sure that what he was doing was what Soda wanted. Pony just wanted him to be happy and grow to truly care about him back.

He made sure to not invite himself to hang out and made sure that if Soda joined in his plans with the gang, he would back out. His grades lowered as well, much to Darry's displeasure. Soda didn't like how high his grades were. So, he dropped them.

His personality changed a bit too, something noted by the gang. He was more reserved; careful. He didn't smile as much either. In fact, he looked depressed. Johnny had tried to get him to talk about what was on his mind, but Ponyboy always just brushed off the questions and made an excuse to leave.

"Hey, Pony, want to catch a flick?" Two-Bit chirped one afternoon. Ponyboy looked up from his book, body screaming at the small movement due to the bruise on the back of his neck.

"Sure," he answered right when Soda walked in.

Two-Bit beamed at his friend. "Soda, want to come with us to the Nightly Double with us?"

Soda smiled back. "Yeah, is everyone coming?"

"Yeah, the whole gang is going."

Soda shot Ponyboy a look. The youngest greaser knew what he wanted. He slouched a bit on the sofa. "Actually," he began, "I have a lot of homework that I need to do."

Two-Bit raised an eyebrow. "It's Saturday."

"I still get homework on weekends."

"I thought you told me that you finished everything yesterday," Darry spoke up. He was sitting next to Pony on the couch since his usual spot was taken by Dally.

Ponyboy rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans. Crap. Why did he have to tell him that? "I… um…" he stammered. "You're right. Memory lapse. I don't know why I forgot that."

"Great! So, we can all go!" Two-Bit cheered.

Pony glanced over at Soda who was glaring knives. He gulped. His bruises started to sting from the memories of him being hit. He didn't want to be hit anymore. Subconsciously, he moved closer to Darry as if he was trying to be protected by him, something everybody noticed.

"What's up, Pony?" Darry asked. "You alright?"

Darry rubbed Ponyboy's shoulder, causing him to flinch. He could feel the glare become even sharper. "Yeah, I'm just, um, not really feeling too hot right now."

"You sick?" Johnny questioned worriedly.

"Maybe. I'm going to lie down. Go without me."

Before any of them could interrogate him more, Ponyboy went back to his room. Not before he heard, "I'm going to check up on him," from Soda.

Man, was he in for it. His hands started to shake; knees feeling weak.

Soda entered his room, instantly grabbing Ponyboy's shirt. "Seriously? What is wrong with you? I thought we went over this before."

"Sorry," Ponyboy whimpered.

"Stay away from the gang. Nobody likes you here."

"But—"

Soda slammed his fist into the boy's gut causing him to gasp out as the wind was knocked out of him. He kept hitting Ponyboy over and over in places where he knew that people wouldn't be able to see the bruises. Pony was sure that his skin looked like a completely different color by now.

The boy ended up on the floor, curled up in a ball with his arms covering his face. Not like that protection would do anything though because Soda wouldn't dare make his abuse obvious to other people.

Another hit was sent to his gut.

"You got that? Nobody likes you. They would rather have you gone."

It hurt. Everything just hurt. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. He didn't know how much more he could take.

Soda spat at his face before leaving him on the floor.

How much longer…

**o-o-o**

Ponyboy didn't personally need to back off more. The gang—more specifically Soda—did it for him.

It started when he came back from school one day. The house was silent, but everybody was there. When he opened the screen door, they all turned their heads towards him at the same time and that was when he knew that something was seriously wrong. But what? He didn't do anything wrong. At least, he didn't _think_ he did anything wrong. Oh, man, was Darry going to holler at him or something?

"Ponyboy Michael Curtis," bellowed Darry. And there it was. "Where were you?"

"School?" Ponyboy answered. It should have been obvious. He repositioned himself, leaning himself on one leg. He gestured to the gang who were looking at him with irritation—even Johnny and Two-Bit. "I'm confused. What's going on here?"

"Well, we were just informed that you have been skipping school."

What? Skipping school? "Excuse me?"

"I got a call from the principal about how bad your attendance is. They said that you were also seen outside the premises when school was going on."

"What?" He shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows together. "I'm not skipping school."

Darry gave him a look. "Then why did the principal call?"

"I don't know!" Ponyboy threw his arms up in exasperation. "I swear I haven't been skipping."

"Stop lying!"

"I'm not lying though!"

"You've been skipping. Not only that, but you've been seen drinking, starting fights, and doing drugs."

Where was Darry getting this information? It wasn't true whatsoever. It didn't even sound like him! "No, I'm not. You know full well that I wouldn't do all that. I don't want to get in trouble."

"Really? You haven't been doing that stuff? You haven't been getting into fights? Really?" Darry stepped forward in an intimidating way. He grabbed Ponyboy's arm harshly, pulling down his sleeve to reveal all of the nasty bruises littering it. "Then how do you explain all of this? You're covered in bruises! If you weren't fighting, how did these happen?"

Ponyboy looked at Soda who was smirking from behind the gang. Of course, he was the person that told them these lies. He should have figured as much. "I… uh…" His mouth was dry. He couldn't rat out Soda, could he? No, they wouldn't even believe him in the first place. They liked Soda more than him and trusted his words more. He swallowed, backing down.

"That's what I thought." Darry let his arm go after almost throwing it back at him. Ponyboy let it fall limply to his side. "You have been doing all of that, and so much more too."

"So much more?" Ponyboy asked, confused. What else was he blamed for?

"Yeah, you keyed a car that I have been working on and slashed its tires. I had my boss on my neck because of you!" Steve growled. "Almost got fired and sued too! Do you know what that could have done to me?"

Ponyboy didn't do any of that. He stayed away from Steve's garage at the DX station as much as he could. But he couldn't admit that because Soda didn't want him to. Man, he hated this.

"I—"

"You drank all my beer and wrecked my house!" Two-Bit shouted, eyes squinting. "My house looked like a tornado had plowed through it! My mom fainted at the sight and had to go to the hospital! My sister was in tears, probably even traumatized, because her dolls were ripped apart and their body parts were stabbed on sticks like some sort of massacre."

"You stole all of my money and took my switchblade," Dally sneered. "His eyes were dark; darker than what he had seen in a while. "Then you carved into all of the wood furniture and walls in Buck's. Tried to blame it all on me too. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Ponyboy couldn't answer. He was horrified at what he was hearing. The thought of doing those things never even crossed his mind even once, and now he was being blamed for it. It was all so wrong. How could he even do that to them? They should have known that!

He turned to Johnny, knowing that he was next. Ponyboy could feel tears form in his eyes. Not Johnny too.

"You slipped notes in my locker, telling me that I wasn't welcomed in the gang. You said that I should just do everyone a favor and kill myself," Johnny added, causing Pony's eyes to widen. "You said that I deserved being beaten by my parents too."

Holy shit! What the absolute fuck?! Soda was sick. He was so cruel. How could he do that to Johnny? Heck, how could he do that to the gang? He was so messed up.

"I would never say that. You gotta believe me, Johnny," Ponyboy pleaded, but Johnny looked away from him.

"I don't know what to believe anymore," he mumbled.

"You've changed, Pony. You're not the kid brother I grew up knowing," Darry spat. "You're a monster."

He wasn't the monster! Soda was! He didn't want to lose the gang like this!

"How could any of us trust you, man?" Dally asked, stepping forward. Ponyboy took a step back, recognizing the wild look in his eyes. "You went behind all of our backs and betrayed us all."

Ponyboy couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't lose them! They weren't just the gang to him. They were his family. They were all he had left.

Screw it. Screw it all. He didn't care that Soda would hate him even more for ratting him out. He just didn't want the gang to turn their backs on him like they thought he did to them. "Please, listen to me! Why would I do any of that? You've all known me practically my whole life. How could I just suddenly change like that? Soda did all of that! It was Soda! Not me!"

Steve scoffed, "Why would Soda do any of that?"

"Yeah, why would he do that?" Darry agreed.

"But—"

"We're not going to listen to your excuses!"

"But, Darry—"

"I said we weren't going to! Now, go to your room! I'll deal with you later."

Before Ponyboy could even storm to his room, a woman that was clad in professional clothing appeared at the screen door, knocking on its wooden framing. "Hello? May I come in?" she asked. "My name is Maria Strong, and I came to inspect your household."

It was like the anger had been whisked out of the room. Nervousness now replaced it. The three brothers exchanged looks. They forgot that a social worker was coming in that day.

Worriedly, Darry opened the door for her, and she walked inside the house sternly. As soon as she stepped inside, her eyes instantly zeroed in on Ponyboy's bruised-up arm. He had forgotten to roll down his sleeve again. Her eyes narrowed and everyone knew that they were doomed. "Who did this to you?" she demanded, grabbing his arm and scrutinizing it closely.

"Um…" Ponyboy didn't know what to say. His heart pounded against his chest as his anxiety fogged up his brain. He couldn't tell the truth. He would definitely be taken away.

The social worker pointed at Darry accusingly. "Did _he_ do this? Was he the one who harmed you?"

Ponyboy snapped out of his stupor. He shook his head rapidly. "No! He didn't do this!"

"Then who did?"

He faltered. He couldn't tell her that it was Soda. "Well…"

"It's okay, Ponyboy. You don't have to protect him. I cannot let you continue living with Darrel if he laid a hand on you."

"He didn't though!"

"Stop protecting him! It's okay! You're going to be alright. You don't have to be scared."

Ponyboy opened his mouth but was cut off by her again.

"Collect your things. I am removing you from the house," she declared. "Nothing will change my mind otherwise."

Everyone stared in the woman in disbelief. They couldn't believe it. It was all happening too quickly. Never in their life would they think that the state would take Ponyboy out of the house. Yes, they were annoyed with him and they didn't trust him, but that didn't mean they wanted to get rid of him. They still cared about him, for Christ's sake.

But, Ponyboy didn't know that. He bit his bottom lip, glancing at the gang with teary eyes. He felt a pang in his chest, remembering that none of them liked him anymore.

They hated him. They wanted him gone.

What Soda said about the gang only tolerating him was true. Was it worth being in pain by staying here? Everyone probably wanted him gone too.

It hurt to admit it, but he should just leave. It would be for the best. If that was what made everyone happy, then he should just do it. All he wanted was for them to be happy.

"Okay," he agreed without putting up a fight. "I'll go."

Now all of the attention was on him. The gang's eyes were wide, even Soda's. Ponyboy was just going without arguing. They always figured that he was a fighter, but here he was, giving up.

"What? No, you're not," Darry objected.

"Why not? It's not like you guys actually like me being here. It's obvious that you all hate me. I hear it all the time," Ponyboy answered with a monotone voice. His eyes were blank and dull like all emotions had been sucked out of them. The expression scared the gang. They've seen that look on him before. "Let's go. I don't have anything here that I have to bring with me."

Ponyboy followed the social worker outside the house, but Darry grabbed his arm to hold him back. However, Pony ripped it away and got in the social worker's car, slamming the door shut in their faces.

"Ponyboy!" Two-Bit screamed but the young greaser ignored him, strapping himself in. The car moved forward and Ponyboy never looked back at them.

They never saw him again for a while.

**o-o-o**

Sodapop Curtis fucked up.

Actually, that might be an understatement.

At first, he was happy. Ponyboy was finally gone. His brother wouldn't be there to make him feel inferior and nobody would talk about him again. Out of sight, out of mind.

However, Ponyboy was all anybody ever talked about. The mood of the house had gone dark and somber. Nobody smiled anymore. Hell, Johnny and Dally hardly ever visited. Two-Bit only came sometimes. It was all a mess and it was all Soda's fault.

He didn't want this.

Hell, even he felt depressed that Pony was gone. He didn't know how much his brother played in his life until then. It was like a part of him—a huge chunk—was missing.

Soda looked at his hands. All he could see were fists that had been punched at Pony. He did this. He was the reason why Ponyboy was taken away. He was the reason why the gang was sad.

Ponyboy… his little brother that he used to hold so close to him. They had always been close to each other—comforting each other and telling each other everything. What happened to them?

Well, obviously, Soda happened. He just wanted people to not look at him like he was all looks and no brains. In a way, he realized, he guessed that he was jealous of his brother.

That instantly made Soda feel worse. Because of his selfish need for attention and praise, he split everything apart. He hurt people. He hurt Ponyboy with his own two hands and his words.

Even if they got Pony back, what would be the point other than making the rest of the gang happier? It's not like Ponyboy was going to forgive him or anything. He was probably scarred because of him.

It was his fault. All his fault.

How could he let it get that far? How could he even let himself do that to him?

"It's all my fault," he murmured in the kitchen, digging his head in his hands.

"No, it's not," Darry reassured, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You had nothing to do with what happened."

"But I did, Darry. You just don't understand! It's my fault that Ponyboy's been taken. I didn't want this to happen! I shouldn't have done all of that to him."

"Done what? What are you talking about?"

"I did everything and blamed it on Ponyboy. He didn't skip school or wrecked Two-Bit's house or anything. It was all me."

Darry was silent for many moments before he said, "Why?"

"Because I was jealous of him, okay? I was jealous that he got all the attention and praise. I was envious of his brain and of his talents. I wanted to be the one people saw as the better brother for once."

"Soda…"

"I know, I shouldn't have done all of that, but I didn't know what to do! And now, he's gone and it's all my fault!"

"No, it's not," a new, familiar voice soothed. His voice was smooth like butter. Soda could have recognized it anywhere.

"Pony?!" Soda screamed, astonished. True enough, there was Ponyboy in all of his glory. He was smiling gently at his brothers.

"What are you doing here?" Darry asked, not able to hide his happiness. A grin was plastered on his lips. "I thought the state wouldn't let you see us."

"They didn't have enough proof that I should be taken from you guys. They found out that the attendance logs were all changed at school and found other stuff. It took a lot convincing too for them to understand that you didn't hurt me," he explained.

"But who did?"

"Some Socs at school." It was a lie. It was scary how good he was at it.

Darry smiled again. "Glad to have you back."

While Pony was talking to Darry, Soda fell silent, unable to think about how he was supposed to act. He was ashamed of himself, so much so that he just wanted to run to his room and hide. But he knew that he had to face Pony eventually. The youngest Curtis seemed to understand though like he usually did.

"Darry, can I talk to Soda alone?" he asked, and Darry nodded, giving the two a curious look before leaving. As soon as he was gone, Pony walked forward. Soda didn't know what he was supposed to do. He was expecting Pony to slap him or scream at him, but, instead, he hugged him. Soda's eyes were wider than plates.

He was so confused. Why was Pony hugging him after everything that he did to him?

Sensing the confusion, Pony pulled back enough to look up at him. He still held onto his waist though.

"Why?" Soda managed to ask when he thought of something to say.

Ponyboy just smiled though as if nothing had happened between them. "Why what?"

"Why are you like this after everything that I did to you?"

Ponyboy thought about the question, cocking his head to the side in thought. "You weren't you. I knew you didn't actually mean it the entire time. You were just deprived of something for so long that you acted out. You confirmed my theory just a minute ago. I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I really didn't think about how others would be affected. Even though it was painful, I made sure to stick by your side to the best of my ability to help you."

"But I hurt you. I said horrible things about you, and I hurt you. How could you be okay with that? How could you be so forgiving?"

"Well… you had to take everything out on somebody. I'm just happy that you trusted me enough to take it out on me."

Soda felt his heart clench. Where did he even get such an amazing brother? Even though Ponyboy was only fourteen, his eyes were like that of a sage. He acted quite mature for his age, but, man, was Soda grateful to have him as a sibling. Words could not explain his brother, Ponyboy Curtis. Soda was jealous of him in all ways, and that probably won't ever change. But he finally understood that he wasn't just a brother. Ponyboy was a branch of him. They weren't actually polar opposites. The brothers both played a huge part in who the other person was, and Soda accepted that. He wished that he could have seen it sooner.

"You're a good brother, Pony…" Soda mumbled into Pony's shoulder.

"Love you too, Soda."

**o-o-o**

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